The other day I was looking for an empty photo album to put some new pictures in, and came across my old report cards from school. I looked through all 12 grades, and found that the same things held true for all my classes pretty much. Entirely mediocre grades, (60-70% averages) and comments like "Rachel would do better if she would apply herself" "Rachel needs to focus more, she could do much better" or "Rachel's lack of neatness makes her grades lower, if she took more time, she could do much better". I wondered how much of that is just my personality, since I'm a 'lick and a promise' kind of gal, and how much was just plain disinterest in school in general. Or how much was distraction from the other kids acting up in class? Or how much was my attitude "why try? I'm never going to get to the top, no matter what I do?"
The one exception was 4th grade. I did awesome. My marks were in the 85-90% range (excelling in math especially, which was my weak point in every other grade) and the comments were glowing all through. I couldn't put a finger on what it might have been, so I called my Mom, to see if she could recall. She didn't hesitate, she said, "You had Mrs. White for a teacher. That's why. Mrs. White found the good in every child, and brought it out. You weren't a number, she treated you like you were her own child." Even in our small little school where I graduated with 1/2 of the 34 kids I started 1st grade with, it was important. The funny thing is, I remember a lot from 4th grade, more than the others. I remember learning the solar system, and about the ocean ecosystem, I remember her reading to us every lunch hour (books like "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe).
My mom also told me that she (Mom) disliked taking us to the awards nights, because it was always the same kids that won them every year, and so many of the other kids didn't get recognized for anything because they didn't get good grades. And how little grades have to do with the success of a person. I know that the lack of good grades did damage many a kids confidence though. I never felt worth anything in school until 8th grade when I learned to ski. I remember getting an inner confidence (along with my best friend Angela) while we taught ourselves to ski. The exhilaration of no one keeping track, no one making fun of our mistakes, and challenging ourselves highly beyond our skill levels allowed (picture two 14 year old girls flying down the hills out of control on skis!). But, we were fearless and we became excellent skiers because of it.
I guess what I took out of the whole deal was how important it is that kids feel important. One book I recently read said, "make sure every child has a success every day, even if you have to arrange to make it happen." How wonderful is that for a child. How much we all rely on verbal reassurance and praise (so much more so than material). As I'm typing here, my dear husband just thanked me for supporting him in his newest endeavor (taking a motorcycle safety course so that he can pursue getting a motorcycle). He told me how my support encouraged him to do it, and he wouldn't have done it if I hadn't. I feel the same way about the cake decorating course that I took last month. I felt so good going, when I knew he was cheering me on. How much more is it important for our children to feel they are worth our time (not just the 'smart' kids, or the 'athletic' kids as I recall happening so much in my school days) I guess that is why I believe it's much easier to get to know a child's strengths and weakness' if the teacher/student ratio is as low as possible. Because most often, children don't even know themselves, unless someone points it out.
The one exception was 4th grade. I did awesome. My marks were in the 85-90% range (excelling in math especially, which was my weak point in every other grade) and the comments were glowing all through. I couldn't put a finger on what it might have been, so I called my Mom, to see if she could recall. She didn't hesitate, she said, "You had Mrs. White for a teacher. That's why. Mrs. White found the good in every child, and brought it out. You weren't a number, she treated you like you were her own child." Even in our small little school where I graduated with 1/2 of the 34 kids I started 1st grade with, it was important. The funny thing is, I remember a lot from 4th grade, more than the others. I remember learning the solar system, and about the ocean ecosystem, I remember her reading to us every lunch hour (books like "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe).
My mom also told me that she (Mom) disliked taking us to the awards nights, because it was always the same kids that won them every year, and so many of the other kids didn't get recognized for anything because they didn't get good grades. And how little grades have to do with the success of a person. I know that the lack of good grades did damage many a kids confidence though. I never felt worth anything in school until 8th grade when I learned to ski. I remember getting an inner confidence (along with my best friend Angela) while we taught ourselves to ski. The exhilaration of no one keeping track, no one making fun of our mistakes, and challenging ourselves highly beyond our skill levels allowed (picture two 14 year old girls flying down the hills out of control on skis!). But, we were fearless and we became excellent skiers because of it.
I guess what I took out of the whole deal was how important it is that kids feel important. One book I recently read said, "make sure every child has a success every day, even if you have to arrange to make it happen." How wonderful is that for a child. How much we all rely on verbal reassurance and praise (so much more so than material). As I'm typing here, my dear husband just thanked me for supporting him in his newest endeavor (taking a motorcycle safety course so that he can pursue getting a motorcycle). He told me how my support encouraged him to do it, and he wouldn't have done it if I hadn't. I feel the same way about the cake decorating course that I took last month. I felt so good going, when I knew he was cheering me on. How much more is it important for our children to feel they are worth our time (not just the 'smart' kids, or the 'athletic' kids as I recall happening so much in my school days) I guess that is why I believe it's much easier to get to know a child's strengths and weakness' if the teacher/student ratio is as low as possible. Because most often, children don't even know themselves, unless someone points it out.
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